Who Owns the Eportfolio?

3 months.jpgThis week, I wanted to talk a bit about who owns the eportfolio. After much reading, research, discussions, and sessions with others in my digital leading and learning masters program, I have realized that every eportfolio is owned in very different ways. You might have noticed that to top this post off, I included a picture of my son, RJ. Strage picture for a post about technology, but let me explain. Over the past few weeks of building this portfolio and learning about site building and reflection, I have realized that, for now, my son owns my eportfolio! What I mean by this is that he takes up every single second of “free” time that I have, and so it really is up to him as to when I have time to work on this portofolio. He decides when I am able to participate in my professional learning networks; he decides when I can blog; he decides how much time I have on my hands to edit and revise the blogs that I write. Eportfolios are supposed to be a fluid, ongoing process where one can work on them and add to them in bits and pieces as moments pop up. However, my moments, at the moment, are far and few between. I just went back to work after three long but short, luxurious but stressful months where I lived in this little cocoon with my son. Now, my schedule looks like this: Wake up at 5:30 AM and read myself for work. Pack up the car and start it so it’s warm. Wake up my son at 6AM from his blissful, perfect looking sleep to change him, feed him, smile with him, and get on the road with him by 6:20 so we aren’t late. Drop him off at 6:50 at daycare, arrive at work at 7, and complete the day in a haze of adjustment and overwhelming sadness and guilt all while putting on a “show” for my 150 high school English students so they know that while I am full of sadness and guilt, I really am happy to be there. Leave work almost immediately when I am “allowed” because of that sadness and guilt, pick up my son from day care, and when we get home a half an hour later, I change him, feed him, take him and my dog for a walk for fresh air and exercise (for me and him!). Then, I have about 45 minutes of his “witching” hour where all he wants to do is watch me cook dinner in his high chair. At 6:30 PM I start bath time with him while dinner simmers on the stove. We have a bath, a bottle, and a snuggle until he goes to sleep around 7PM. After that, I clean up from our afternoon, and finally sit down to eat dinner at 7:45. By the time that is over and I have cleaned up, it is 8:30 and it’s time for me to shower and go to bed by 9 so that I can function to do all of that again the next day. Yes, I have a willing and able husband; no, he doesn’t cook. He DOES offer to do bath and bedtime, but because I am still so riddled with my guilt from leaving my three  month old at day care for 9 hours of the day, I typically decline so I can soak up as much time and snuggles as I can. So, for now, my son owns my eportfolio. If I wanted the world to partake in this amazing journey, I’d probably blog about my experiences with him, but I have no interest in sharing the most intimate details of my and my family’s life with strangers or even acquaintances. Until I can shed some of this mom-guilt and start experiencing life as I once did, RJ owns my eportfolio, my time, my heart, and my mind. And that is probably the ONE thing in my life that I do NOT feel guilty about these days.


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